Swinging and Polyamory Compared

Open relationships have grown more visible in Canadian culture. Television dramas, late-night comedies, magazine features and talk programs have shown arrangements that once stayed out of public view, and media outlets have gone looking for polyamorous couples to feature. Two forms come up most often, swinging and polyamory. Both rest on honesty and consent, but they are far from identical.

Swinging

Swinging usually involves couples, and sometimes single people, who take part in casual sexual encounters with others, often in the company of a partner. Some swap partners at parties, and some build lasting friendships with other couples. For many participants the central relationship is strengthened by these activities without being defined by them.

The older stereotype featured basement gatherings, wood panelling and house keys dropped into a bowl. Contemporary venues are described as closer to an ordinary night out, with drinks, dancing and flirting, where the only firm limits concern consent. Even so, such clubs tend to sit at the edges of cities, and a regular club night may be held across a regional boundary or in a private home rather than downtown.

Polyamory

Polyamory puts loving, committed bonds ahead of casual sex. It names an orientation toward relationships, a set of attitudes and values, more than any particular sexual act. A person can hold several loving relationships at once with the full knowledge of everyone involved.

The gatherings show the difference. Poly meetups are typically low-key: discussion circles about relationship questions, potluck dinners and pub or pool-hall socials, with little of the party atmosphere found at a swing club. A short saying within the community sums up the contrast: swinging is a lifestyle, while polyamory is an ideology.

Where the two overlap

The groups sometimes distance themselves from each other despite shared values. Yet nothing prevents overlap. A person may be polyamorous and also swing, or swing without being polyamorous. One does not require the other, and the two are different, partly intersecting philosophies.

Public debate and law

Interest in polyamory in Canada rose when a court reference case in British Columbia examined the Criminal Code provisions on polygamy and the legal status of multi-partner unions. Supporters of so-called traditional family values have argued that open marriage is one more step down a slippery slope that began with same-sex marriage. Advocates answer that consenting adults can organize their relationships in many ways. Researchers often group these arrangements under the label consensual non-monogamy.