Open Marriage and Consensual Non-Monogamy

An open marriage is a committed partnership in which the spouses agree that one or both may have other romantic or sexual relationships. It is one branch of consensual non-monogamy, a broad label that also takes in polyamory, swinging and assorted other arrangements. Writers and researchers generally separate all of these from infidelity by pointing to agreement and openness among everyone involved.

In Canada, public conversation on the topic has been driven by blogs, local meet-ups and small conferences at least as much as by academic work. Writers who blog and coach on the subject show how that conversation often grows outward from personal experience.

Writing from inside an open marriage

Some Canadian writers keep blogs about life in an open marriage, sharing lessons from their own households and from the wider community. Some also work as life or relationship coaches whose clients bring questions about non-monogamy, dating and personal goals. Books for couples curious about open relationships and sexuality mini-conferences have grown out of this kind of writing.

A common stated aim among such writers is to encourage honesty with oneself, and many hold that a healthy relationship with sexuality includes the choice not to have sex at all, so long as the choice comes from self-knowledge.

The practical side of several partners

Open arrangements carry their own logistics. Scheduling time with several partners alongside work and family can be a puzzle. This everyday detail rarely features in popular images of non-monogamy, which lean toward romance or scandal rather than calendars.

Role models and outlook

Asked about role models, writers in this field sometimes pass over the usual list of sexual pioneers and name people close to them who are honest about who they are, own their faults and work to improve the lives around them.

Recurring themes in the wider discussion

• Communication: agreements about boundaries, disclosure and time are central to how these relationships are described.
• Stigma: many people practise non-monogamy quietly because of social judgement.
• Variety: arrangements range from couples who allow occasional outside encounters to networks of long-term partners.
• Disagreement: critics doubt that such arrangements last, while supporters point to the satisfaction participants report.

The account is a general snapshot of this kind of writing, not a record of any current project or status.