Pregnancy Assumptions and Body Shaming

Remarks about another person's body can wound even when they are meant lightly. One common example is the assumption that a person with a rounded abdomen is pregnant. Personal essays on the subject describe such comments being made by strangers, by staff at public events and sometimes over a microphone in front of a crowd.

How the situation usually unfolds

In many accounts, the scene is similar. A person takes part in a public activity, such as an audience game on a stage, and someone announces or implies that the person is expecting a baby. The guess is wrong, and the person is left to respond in front of an audience while others look on. Writers describe the moment as embarrassing, regardless of how comfortable they are with their own body.

Why the comment stings

Commentators usually give two reasons. First, when the guess is wrong, it amounts to calling a person fat in a negative sense. Many larger-bodied people have reclaimed the word fat as a neutral description, and fat acceptance movements use it that way, but a careless remark carries a different meaning. The comment also implies that a belly is acceptable only when a baby explains it.

Second, the same remark can hurt when the guess is right. A person may have experienced miscarriage or stillbirth, may be facing pressure over a pregnancy, may have received difficult medical news, or may be planning adoption. Outsiders cannot know any of that, and they have no standing to comment on someone else's body.

Privacy and public comment

Pregnancy is a personal matter, and many people prefer to announce it on their own terms. Medical and social service organizations in Canada generally treat questions about reproduction as private. Guessing aloud intrudes on that privacy and can disclose, or wrongly imply, information that the person has not chosen to share.

Bodies, diversity and humour

Bodies differ in many ways, from where weight sits to the curl of hair or the shape of ears. Respect for that variety includes refraining from commentary, even when someone does not find a particular body attractive. Some writers find humour in the aftermath, such as the awkward scramble of organizers to make amends. Others note that being able to laugh at an incident does not make the original remark harmless.