Community Social Nights for Sexual Subcultures

A name like pleasure salon can suggest an orgy to anyone who has only heard it in passing, yet community social nights for sexual subcultures are usually closer to a mixer. They are meant as a meeting point for groups that rarely share a room, and they are held in ordinary venues such as bars and community spaces.

Guests at such events often include polyamorists, sex educators, activists, nudists and tantra practitioners, along with workers and advocates from the adult industry. The common promise is tolerance and non-judgmental support. Typical events run on a regular schedule, such as one evening each month.

What an evening looks like

Observers who have attended describe a crowd that resembles any bar scene. A few people may be in costume, and a classic film might play on a wall, but nothing more dramatic. Conversation jumps quickly from subject to subject: upcoming parties, the difference between kink and fetish, and community politics. Food and drinks are part of the night. There is no play space, so the focus stays on talk rather than activity.

The hosts and their thinking

Events of this kind are commonly run by a small team of volunteers, often educators, writers and bloggers who met in alternative circles. Many came up with the idea after attending multi-day retreats and conferences, where they wished that a similar place existed in their home city so that several communities could meet in conversation.

Their stated aim is to draw people from very different corners of the sexual world into a setting where everyone is welcomed. Organizers sometimes argue that, taken together, these groups form a sizeable political force with shared goals, which gives them a reason to know one another.

Access and spread

Entry is typically free so that money does not keep anyone out, and voluntary donations help cover the food. Organizers have said that versions of the idea have appeared in other cities and countries, adapted by local volunteers to their own communities. The single condition is that each gathering remain welcoming.

Because schedules, venues and locations of community events change often, descriptions of any particular series describe a period and not necessarily the present.

Place in a longer tradition

As a model, the social night sits within a long tradition of salons and social clubs that bring together people with overlapping interests who might otherwise stay apart. In Canada, comparable community events are held by queer organizations, polyamory groups and sex-positive collectives, usually with house rules about consent and respectful behaviour.