A Gentleman's Eye-View of Escorts

The myths attached to sex worker clients are probably only second to those assigned to sex workers themselves.

So what kind of person pays for sex? We decided to find out, courtesy of a recommendation from a respected Canadian sex worker.

The client in question called himself ‘Notorious Gentleman’. Contrary to the popular stereotype, Notorious Gentleman is anything but a drooling sex-crazed maniac with no regard for the women whose services he hires. (This is why he was recommended to us.)

In fact, as the following interview illustrates, Notorious Gentleman is indeed a gentleman. This may explain why he was recommended to us as an interview guest by a sex worker who respects and likes him. (You can follow his musings on Twitter on @NtoriousGntlman.)

Sex Life Canada (SLC): Without revealing your identity, please tell us about yourself.

Notorious Gentleman: I'm a 38 year old IT and Telecom Analyst, single, no children (that I know of).

SLC: When did you start visiting sex workers?

Notorious Gentleman: Five years ago. I was aware of the scene before, and had been sneaking into strip clubs since I was 15, but had never taken the plunge into escorting.

SLC: What motivated you to do so?

Notorious Gentleman: An ex of mine revealed to me she became a Companion. I was a little apprehensive about her chosen line of work, sharing the same views on sex work as the general public has. She told me it wasn't like that, and suggested I should try it for myself. I believe the argument she used to convince me was that I will meet "Women of Fantasy." Next thing I know it's Welcome to Hotel California.

SLC: How did you find the sex workers you hired?

Notorious Gentleman: Through the ex I stated above. They often worked out of the same incall, and she really pushed that I should book her new friend. She even made the arrangements with the agency because I was too nervous!

It turned out OK, though. She was pretty new as well, so we fumbled around more like teenagers than an actual professional session, and had an instant rapport. Five years later, she is one of my closest friends.

SLC: What is the experience like, compared to being with a non-sex worker?

Notorious Gentleman: That's very hard to define. In some ways it's quick and dirty. In most, it's like having a first date with a guaranteed happy ending. But when you have the click, the instant connection is amazing. It's intense, jolting. That's excitement you don't usually find in a civilian experience. That can get quite addicting.

SLC: What are the pros and cons of hiring sex workers?

Notorious Gentleman: I consider myself very lucky, in that I haven't had a truly bad experience. I'll get the cons out of the way first: First, it's considered illegal in most places. Incalls are still considered illegal in Canada, so getting caught is a concern (we're hoping to change that with Himel's decision). The biggest con, though, is losing sight that this is a form of entertainment, and letting emotions develop. That can get hard to deal with.

As for pros, there are so many. It's sex with no strings! You can live out a fantasy you've always dreamt of, even the dark ones you never told anyone about. You get to choose the girl to fulfill it. You get to be desired, ravaged, and satisfied. Who doesn't want that?

The greatest pro for me is the amazing connections I've made with the Companions I've met over the years. These are real friendships that would have never been had I not called and booked them for a sexual encounter or three.

SLC: Do you have to worry about getting 'caught'? If so, how do you avoid it?

Notorious Gentleman: At first, I was petrified of getting caught by the police! I've found that if you use reputable agencies, this doesn't happen. Act natural; act like you belong at the hotel/condo, smile and nod at the other people there and walk with a purpose to your appointment, no one will spare you a glance.

As for avoiding getting caught by a significant other, it's simple: When in a relationship, I don't hobby. I am, after all, a gentleman.

SLC: What are your views on sex workers as a whole? Are they self-employed independent businesspeople? Victims? Something else?

Notorious Gentleman: I'd like to say they are all empowered, sexy women who enjoy what they do, with definite goals in entering this industry. This is, unfortunately, not always true. The Companions I see tend to be in that category, but there are others who ARE exploited, coerced, trafficked.

This is why I started being an advocate: The idea of someone being forced into a sex act against their consent, male or female, is abhorrent and the worse perversion of human nature. I am part of a network of people, sex workers, agency owners, hobbyists, and allies trying to put an end to this.

The truth is the experience of Companions in this industry is as diverse as any other profession, and you can't paint them all with the same brush.

SLC: What advice do you have for people considering visiting sex workers?

Notorious Gentleman: Be clean, be respectful, pretend it's a date, because it IS a pretend date.

When you are asked to shower, don't sprinkle water on yourself and call yourself clean, What the lady wants is you to wash your privates. Do it! You'll have much better sessions if she doesn't have to gag on your day-long funk.

If she says she's uncomfortable with something, respect her boundaries. Don't push, no means no.

Finally, and most importantly: She's a human being, not a piece of meat or a masturbation tool. Treat her with respect.

SLC: Do you have any amusing, striking sex worker stories that you can share with us?

Notorious Gentleman: Hmmmmm... a gentleman should never tell, but there is one instance that still makes me crack up.

It was my second session with a particularly amazing Companion. We were doing something of a PSE [porn star experience] session where she begged me to finish on her face.

After I did, and still in a recovering haze of my own orgasm, she takes some of my cum with her thumb and swipes it across my forehead, proclaiming in a solemn voice, "Simba!"

It took us about 5 minutes to stop cracking up. I love that girl!