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However, operating on autopilot without making a concerted effort to nurture physical intimacy can lead to decreased fulfillment, which is never good. It may or may not be planned in advance. Jory says he believes maintenance sex is essential to the success of a long-term relationship for three reasons. Couples regularly say that although they were reluctant at first, once they made the plunge to have sex it was a positive experience. When he runs into this issue clinically, he works with the couples to essentially learn a whole new language that helps them overcome shame, fear, or embarrassment surrounding the topic of sex. Hafeez agrees that purposeful, improved dialogue is always healthy in a relationship. Will it feel sexy at first?

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