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Coarse attributes that come to mind add in intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, allure, or reliability. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive behaviour, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways at the same time as well. What this means is so as to we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing affecting baggage. We are inclined to play again events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our fully developed relationships. Were they too controlling?