What barriers stand in the way of forgiveness—and how can we overcome them? Laurie and Jamie sat in my office a few months ago, locked in an impasse all too common in couples therapy. We all know how painful it feels to suffer these kinds of hurts, betrayals, or abuse—and to have this pain harden into lasting grudges or resentments. Indeed, study after study has suggested that being unable to forgive these past wrongs can wreak havoc on our mental and physical health.
It can be the great escape, bound you back into relapse, or activate a new addiction. Of course, you should. The whole point of healing is to be healthy and blissful, and that includes in your delicate relationships with other people. But relationships can be tricky, even when you are at your best. There is stress and anxiety and pressure after that the desire for everything to be perfect, and those are present constant when the relationship is going able-bodied. And since every relationship has problems, there will also be arguments after that anger and jealousy. During early healing, you are emotionally fragile, because you are still learning how to abuse the strengths and tools that adhere to you sober and balanced. The lessons and exercises and positive coping strategies you have been taught are not yet second nature or habit. All the rage other words, your hold on your sobriety may not be as absolutely as you would like.