The V-SPOT Q+A

Vera Zyla offers sexy, sensible and sensational advice every week.
Got a question?
Drop a line here.

A Head-to-Head on Head

QUESTION:
Dear Vera
In the big picture my girlfriend is great but she just doesn’t know how to give a decent blowjob. I have tried to get her to watch some porn with me so she could see some great blowjob action but all it did was get us both really turned on (which was very hot) but then when we made out it didn’t change anything about her style. Any idea on how I can get her to “suck it like a pornstar”?
BJ Starved

Age or Power Imbalance?

QUESTION:
Dear Vera,
My Partner is 15 years older than myself, we enjoy our time together and we vibrate at the same frequency intellectually, but in bed, she is always "Taking the lead" due to the fact that she has more experience, which is understandable. Nevertheless, at times that offsets me and makes me feel insecure. Do you have any suggestions or tips that would allow us to resonate in bed as well as we do out of it?
Signed
Zeus Saab

Language of Love

QUESTION:
Dear Vera,
I have been with my wife for 6 years now, and over that time I have really fallen short in the gift giving department. It is rare that I will get her something nice (or anything at all) for her birthday or even Christmas.
Sure money is tight, and that is the excuse that I usually have for not bringing home the gifts. She knows I love her and care about her and I do things for her, but I am just wondering if not giving her gifts is hurting our relationship more than she lets on.
Thanks D

Valentine's Day Good Vibrations

QUESTION
Dear Leah,
I've been seeing a nice lady for about 2 months. And of course, now, Valentine's Day is coming. We're a pretty fun couple, so I was thinking getting her something a little offbeat. I was thinking of getting her a sex toy for Valentines. I've done this in past relationships and it has gone over well. However, those were longer relationships. Is 2 months too soon?
GV, Charlottetown

ANSWER
Dear Good Vibrations:

Fidelity Freak-Out!

QUESTION
Dear Leah,
My boyfriend and I are in a spot of trouble. We're very much in love, he has a much stronger fantasy life than I do. When we first got together we were open, visiting bathhouses and fucking other guys. But we've settled down and are happily monogamous. Or so I think. His recent fantasies have gotten more and more involved and more and more specific. He describes very specific looking men. Normally him talking about other guys turns me on, but this is getting too creepy and specific. He assures me he's not cheating. How can I know?
FF, Hamilton

ANSWER

My Sex Life is the Pits - Armpits!!

QUESTION:
Dear Leah,

This Gal Takes a Licking and Keeps on Ticking...

QUESTION:
Dear Leah,
What takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'? I do, Leah, but I cannot get that through my boy's head. I've told him countless times that I would love it if he went down on me after he comes but he never does. Does a girl gotta beg? What do I do?
Waiting...patiently (or not)
Fredericton, New Brunswick

I'm Addicted to Porn! Help!!

QUESTION:
Dear Leah,
I’ve been wondering how to put this, but I can’t think of a better way than to say it out loud: what can I do to help my porn addiction. I’m on the web all the time checking out sites. I’ve started sneaking looks at work, and if I get caught I’ll surely get fired. Where can I find help for this?
Please,
Adam, Moncton

Ball Asymmetry and Body Image

QUESTION:
Dear Leah,
I am always embarrassed when I get with a new guy. Not that that has happens that often, but when I do, I freeze up. Reason is because I have one ball bigger than the other. Significantly bigger. Doctor assures me it isn’t a problem physically, but it causes me a lot of shame. And when a new dude sees my junk….well, a couple have actually left.
This is really getting me down. Help me please!
Anxious in Alberta,
Steve

Lovin' When You're Built for Comfort *and* Speed!

QUESTION

Dear Leah,
As my partner and I have grown older together, he has also grown much larger. This isn't an issue, I love him to bits, but I find this is getting in the way of our love making. His weight, when he's on top of me, is getting to be too much. Neither of us are particularly experimental, but can you suggest some positions for a larger man and smaller lady?

Kare, Kelowna

ANSWER

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