Got Them Baby-Making Blues


Dear Leah,
I've got the age-old story for you. Girl and Boy fuck. Girl and Boy Fuck a lot. Girl and Boy fuck all the time until Girl has baby. Do you have any advice for Girl and Boy, both of whom are suffering a general lack of interest in the bedroom?

Regina, Saskatchewan


Dear G&B,
It's sad but true. Even the most glorious sex, with the hottest humans around (which hopefully is how you view each other) gets old quick if instead of a spontaneously self-indulgent treat it becomes a routine responsibility.

Remember when you first learned to ride a bike? How unfamiliar yet exciting it all was, breath caught in your throat, afraid of falling on your ass, getting hurt or hurting someone else? How amazing it felt when for the first time you found yourself sailing down the road, wind in your hair, not caring about the odd bug in your teeth, because you were RIDING A BIKE!

How different is that feeling from crawling outta bed at 7 and stumbling to your bike in the cold, half-asleep and juggling your belongings and a mug of coffee you shouldn't really be drinking while riding but which you couldn't survive the trip without. You're not pleasure cruising anymore, you're commuting. And it ain't pretty.

How can you reclaim the pleasure you used to find riding one another, while still *ahem* makin' it to work on time? The key, my friend, is conducting an immediate cost-benefit analysis of the situation. You want to get pregnant, but you also want to have a fun and spontaneous sex life—and trust me, this is possible. Let's start by breaking down your goals:

Goal #1: Pregnancy
Of those who are healthy and fertile, 60% will get pregnant within six months, 85% in a year, and 92.5% within the following year. There are times during G's cycle where B's wigglies are more likely to fall on fertile soil—when she's ovulating. Most folks only ovulate once a month, but some ovulate twice—and the best way to find out where G is at is to learn how to track the ovulation cycle. Watch for increased vaginal mucous (thick slippery stuff with a consistency like egg whites that is designed to help sperm swim to the egg), track basal body temperature, or try using ovulation prediction kits.

Keep in mind the intent is not to increase your stress, but to let you know when to focus on penis-vagina sex. Don't go overboard, either—eggs live for about 24 hours and sperm for up to three days, so you only need to have sex twice, a few days apart, before and during ovulation to increase your odds.

Granted, this requires a different kind of routine, but not one that slowly kills your lust for one another's nibbly bits. Another advantage is becoming more aware of bodily cycles, a good idea when you're heading for pregnancy. G's body will have a lot to say as you go along, and it's never too soon to start figuring out how to listen.

You may also consider enlisting the aid of a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner in your quest for pregnancy. Many have found their assistance in identifying what diet, herbs and acupressure/acupuncture is ideal for their body types invaluable in getting pregnant.

Goal #2: Good Sex
Take a break from sex and focus instead on what makes you feel intimate and connected. If you usually prefer to spend more time apart and miss it, remember absence makes the heart grow fonder! Experiment with swearing off sex during G's non-ovulating times, and instead explore the world of tease and denial. Set up dates where G picks B up at a bar, flirts all night, including sexy dancing and kissing, and then go home all hot'n'bothered and jerk off next to one another in bed without touching (but you can listen to one another groaning in pleasure!). Write erotic stories, exchange sensual massages where you *can't* touch sexual bits but can do whatever you want anywhere else, watch porn, whatever works—trust me, soon enough you'll be bursting for it!

If one of the things that makes sex hot for you is the taboo, step out during fertile times with sex that won't land ya with a bun in the oven. Muff-diving, back-door exploration, a bit of recreational tit-fucking, maybe even get out that strap-on dildo and part B's waves for a change! Then follow it up with a good old fashioned baby-making sperm-filled big finish!

I predict you'll get your motors running again in record time! Not only will you be havin' smokin' hot sex again, soon enough B&G will find that little b makes three!


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