Can a New Year's Eve Hook-Up Last?

QUESTION:

Dear Leah,
What is your take on the New Year's Eve hook-up? If I were to meet someone on NYE, I'd hope it can last. Is this even possible or do you think I should only be thinking fling?
Happy NY
Shawinigan, Quebec

ANSWER: 

Dear Happy,
Is it possible to meet someone on New Year's Eve and have it last? Sure.

Is it likely? Not necessarily, but like I said, it's not impossible either.

My take on the New Year's Eve hook-up is the same as my opinion of any hook-up—how well it works depends on whether you get what you're truly looking for—and with hook-ups it's hard to know what's in the package, much less whether you like it enough to keep it, till ya get a chance to take it home, unwrap it and play with it for a while.

That said, you might want to spend some time now thinking about what you are more interested in—a hot hook-up with someone you don't know on New Years Eve that may (or may not) turn into something ongoing, or dating someone you're compatible with who you might be in a relationship with for some time. Despite the fact these things aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, knowing which is the biggest priority will help you sort out where to focus your energies.

If hooking up is more your thing, there's a few things to try. Enlist the aid of friends, who should, after all, know you best, to identify cuties more likely to go the distance. Make sure you're invited to the same event, giving you a chance to introduce yourself as having mutual friends without it being a big deal, while still preserving the possibility of being able to sprinkle some hook-up fairy dust if the energy seems right. Alternatively, scope out singles events focusing on areas of interest for you—if you're an alcoholic, check out a 12-step celebration; if you're an art lover, something at a gallery; if you're an enviromentallist, a Greenpeace fundraiser. Or take the more direct approach and check out a speed dating event or singles event—at least you know everybody there is looking to meet someone, making the approach less difficult, while sheer numbers might increase the odds you meet someone you like!

If finding a potential long-term squeeze is more the goal, I'd still recommend hitting up friends, but instead of adding the additional pressure of meeting for the first time New Year's Eve, try something less loaded. While first dates can be awkward, approaching someone then and being rejected is too, and the less of a big deal your first date is the easier it will be to say so if you're not clicking. After all, the worst that can happen is you make a new friend, since you've obviously got things in common if your friends suggested you meet, right? So don't feel so pressured! Another option is an online dating site where you can put ads in sections specifically dedicated to relationships, dating and casual sex that outline what kind of person you are and what you're looking for—who knows, you might find the person you've been dreaming about online!

What's most important is that you're figuring out what you want and taking action to make it happen. Trust me, once you start putting that energy out into the universe, sooner or later some relationship magic is bound to happen!

Kisses,
Leah

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