Bed Bugs from a One-Night Stand? Help!!

QUESTION

Dear Leah,
I've got an itchy problem, but I don't think it is the normal kind of itchy sex problem. I recently got picked up by a hot woman and went home with her. Everything was great, but we didn't exchange numbers. Later that day, I noticed myself scratching my legs non-stop, so I took a look. There were little marks all over my legs. I asked my roommate and his suggestion shocked me. He said they look like bedbug bites. Could this be the case? Could I have gotten bedbugs from a one-night stand? And if so, do I track her down and tell her?

Richard, Montreal

ANSWER

Dear Richard,
First off, congrats on your smokin’ hot one-night stand! Successful pick-ups are in and of themselves an art form, one that takes those that are motivated years to perfect, but from the sounds of it you’ve got a few things you could teach the rest of us about them!

As for your itchy woes, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your roomie is right on the money when he tells you the culprit is possibly bedbugs—if he’s ever encountered them before, their bite patterns are quite distinct. And believe me, he has as much to be concerned about as you do, as those little suckers are not only a personal misery, as they chomp their merry way up and down your arms and legs, they can be a household nightmare as well. Which means they are likely to soon be travelling down the hall to chomp on his shins! I have friends for whom it took four separate visits by an exterminator and over a year to rid their home of them! Of course, it could also be Crabs, Scabies or Pubic Lice, so it can't hurt to see a doctor to be certain of what it is you're dealing with.

Bed bugs also become unwanted guests when they climb into or on bags, clothing, or other belongings and hitchhike with them to a different location. Since they aren’t sexually transmitted, you don’t have to have sex with someone to get them. Dropping over for a cup of tea can be enough for these crafty little dudes! There are ways you can protect yourself, like learning to identify signs of bedbug infestations, and to handle your belongings when you’ve been somewhere you think they might be, but the fact is they are incredibly difficult to catch.

Dealing with bed bugs can also be a challenge, and it is recommended that if you are renting your home that you inform your landlord immediately and work with them to eliminate them. Whether you own or rent, time is of the essence. Every time a bed bug bites they lay eggs, and once those eggs hatch you have a lot bigger problem to deal with, as the infestation grows very quickly. I have had bed bugs in my house three times—once when friends visited and brought them along, once when they accompanied a lovely vintage dress I bought, and once when my neighbours got them. The key is to get exterminators in as quickly as possible and to follow all the instructions in the links I’ve added to this page. Simply moving will not work, either. Trust me, they will come with you.

With regard to telling your yummilicious gal about her bed bugs, while at this point you have no legal obligation to, it certainly would seem only fair to let her know. As some folks aren’t bothered by bites as much as others, it’s possible she has no idea and would be horrified to know she’s sending lovely men like yourself home with more than a big ol’ smile on their face! Just be certain to be discreet as she is liable to be as horrified as you are that she’s dealing with a bed bug infestation.

All the best to you in dealing with this pesky problem, and please, don’t let this destroy your love for casual sex! Once you know how to protect yourself it is possible to continue indulging this passion, whether it’s by greater care when visiting other folk’s places or exploring the joy of public sensual play!

Kisses,
Leah

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