Understanding the Dynamics of TGirl Attraction -- Part Two

 Understanding the Dynamics of Tgirl Attraction - Part Two
by Peter Berton

In the first part of this series on ‘tgirl admirers’ – men who are attracted to male-to-female transsexuals (tgirls’) -- we asked some of the world’s most notable tgirl escorts what kind of men like tgirls, and why.

In this segment, we dig deeper into the sexual orientation of tgirl admirers, and how tgirls feel about their and their obsession for ‘chicks with dicks’

Our panelists are:
- the sultry Kylie Storm: http://www.sexlifecanada.ca/canada/national-sexlife-journal/ts-kylie-sto...
- the dynamic Lexi Wade: www.ynot.com/content/117590-energetic-lexi-wade.html
- the edgy and intelligent Shyla Wild: http://www.sexlifecanada.ca/canada/national-sexlife-journal/insightful-t...
- the elegant Sunshine Paris: http://www.sexlifecanada.ca/canada/national-sexlife-journal/look-inside-...

Note: The first part in this series can be found here:

Peter Berton: Are men who are attracted to tgirls -- especially those men who are bottoms - 'gay'? more importantly, why does it matter?

Lexi Wade: Coming from the point of view of a transsexual woman, we generally don't put labels on men who are attracted to us.

Based on my personal experiences, I of course have been asked this very same question MANY times by men who are first timers. My response has always been this: "As long as you see me as a straight woman, I see you as a straight man" (And I believe that is my hook line, LOL!)

Shyla Wild: Human beings are taught from a very young age to hate what is different.
Labels are a way to say someone is different than you.

So to answer your question in a more direct way: Within the Gay community there exists both tops and bottoms. Both are Gay.

Being a top or a bottom does not make you gay. Sleeping with men makes you gay.

I and all of my transsexual sisters do not consider ourselves men. Our boy lives are often points of shame for us. Therefore if I consider myself a woman, no man seeing me is "Gay" in my eyes.

But understand, this is a matter of perception. For example: if my client ask me if he is gay for being with me, my answer is very simple, "How do you see me?"

Because if you see me as a girl than the answer is simple. A boy being with a girl is considered straight. But if you view me as a boy…than you already know the answer.

Sunshine Paris: This is a question I hear too often. In fact, I wrote an article about it in my blog.

Who cares? Gay is just a word. More than that, it's a word people use to put someone in a box to avoid having to understand him.

Do you really care what someone thinks of your sexuality? You shouldn't. If sex makes you feel good and you aren't hurting anyone, it's nobody's business but your own.

Gay means you are attracted to men. If you are attracted to men, people may refer to you as Gay or Bi.

Being attracted to Tgirls does not make you either one of those. If you enjoy a woman's beauty and you are open to the possibility that her sexual organs are atypical, does that make you gay? No.

Most of the men I meet think of themselves as Straight. There are some qualifiers, of course. For example, if a man likes effeminate men and is also attracted to Tgirls or cross dressers, maybe he is Gay or Bi.

Kylie Storm: Men that are attracted to tgirls are certainly not Gay, as many gay men – even though they do find us very attractive and are drawn to us – do not find us sexually appealing.

I mean, they might for a one-time thing ,but usually it’s the "straight" man that likes us because we represent something that they are familiar with and find attractive sexually. It’s the female image.

Now, what is the difference between a trans woman fucking her man with her own penis or a woman fucking her man with a dildo ? Just that one is made of flesh and one is not!

So at the end of the day, does it matter? No, it’s all about fun and enjoying your experience whether it’s a one-time thing, or on a more permanent and frequent basis.

Peter Berton: How do men who are attracted to tgirls explain their attraction to themselves?

Lexi Wade: Men who are attracted to tgirls almost always explain their attraction to themselves by viewing us as beautiful women, with that something extra. To them, we ARE the 'best of both worlds', and that is how & why some men are attracted to transsexual women.

Shyla Wild: I have wondered the same thing myself. I often had to play psychologist when a client is questioning himself. The easiest way I can explain it is this: Some men like blonds, other brunettes, some like tall girls, others like big girls, and some guys like girls with a cock.

Sunshine Paris: Some men have difficulty coming to terms with this. I usually tell them to relax -- if it feels good, go with it. Most men have difficulty because they are afraid they might become gay or be perceived as gay. I usually tell men that what they like is an individual question. It isn't anybody else's business.

Once the ice is broken, the majority of men realize they needn't have worried.

Kylie Storm: I think most men I have asked this say that it is because we look like women and usually put more effort in our appearances and upkeep, but also it is because of the penis, the taboo and just the sexual experience of it. It’s addictive and hot. What’s hotter then a pretty girl with a raging hard on that can make you empty your load while getting fucked?

Peter Berton: Finally, how do tgirls feel about the men who are attracted to them? Do they resent the fact that some men are seeking them not as genetic women, but as 'chicks with dicks'?

Kylie Storm: Tgirls who are escorts view it as an advantage. They are also very much aware that men will not whisk us away and marry us and put us in a lovely home with the two cars and white picket fence – so most of us use it for financial gain and, of course, ever now and then for our sexual fun also.

I have to admit that many girls, after a certain amount of time, can become bitter and resentful because men only view us as a chick with a dick. But at the end of the day that what we are -- chicks with dicks that sell that dick for financial gain. So you can either live with it and be comfortable with it, or go around in life and be bitter and a mess like I have seen time and time.

Again, it’s all about what you make of it.

Look at me: I have my clients who I enjoy seeing, and it’s great that I can make money with it. I also have my stable of boys that I see for fun – it’s all about the right balance.

But even if I see you for my own personal enjoyment, I never let a man come over empty-handed because I know it’s a privilege for them to see us. The reason: Most times than not we are a sexual fetish, and then they go back to their normal lives. Also, finding a tgirl that has a head on her shoulders and that has it together can be somewhat of a challenge.

Lexi Wade: Tough question. There are ALL types of men.

You have those who are true gentlemen who are attracted to tgirls for their simple beauty and personalities, while there ARE those men who are only attracted to tgirls and view us only as 'chicks with dicks.'

I personally feel, to each their own. I recently went through a relationship with someone I thought I was going to spend the rest of life with, but when I finally realized he was only attracted to me because I was a 'chick with a dick' - our relationship ended. I am now single and since then, my view on men has changed. Every tgirl has their own point of view on this subject.

Shyla Wild: Let's talk about this point. If we look at the goals of a trans-woman you will begin to understand our frustration with everything.

Your ultimate goal as a trans-woman is to live and function as a woman. If SRS (Sexual reassignment surgery) is in your plans or not is a personal choice, but generally your goal to live as a woman

Being a trans-woman is a bit of a Catch 22. On one hand the thing that makes you special is also the thing that makes you a boy and therefore a point we are not proud of.

Admirers always talk about your cock. You can understand our frustration that in all our efforts to be as feminine as possible, the focus is always about the most masculine part of us: Our cocks. It's almost like a way to bring us down and remind us who we were.

I believe that's why so many trans-women call their admirers "faggots".

Men do not understand that we are in a period of change. They do not understand that we are more than just a cock. And because men talk about sex all the time this make it even more noticeable. Resentment is easy because men do not understand. But do we explain this?

Sunshine Paris: You'll probably get many different answers to this question, depending on who you ask.

Personally, I like straight men. I like a man to appreciate my beauty and my feminine qualities. If they like what I've got inside my panties, that's great.

Is there some resentment when a man expresses interest in my equipment before he even mentions my appearance? Absolutely. I live 24/7 as a woman. I consider myself a woman. It's a snub when a man doesn't even acknowledge me as a woman, when he just wants what I've got between my legs.

Some tgirls are so sensitized to this, they don't even like to show anyone what's between their legs.

On the other hand, if a tgirl has sex-reassignment surgery, she is essentially a woman. She loses her appeal to most tgirl admirers. A tgirl has male equipment. It's part of what makes her a tgirl.

If she chooses to negate that aspect of herself, she should get the surgery and be a woman. There's nothing wrong with that.

If you're going to be a tgirl in perpetuity, you'd better accept that admirers want your equipment. It's a conundrum but a balance can be reached.