Smokin' Hot Firemen

You may understand at this point that I am not one to be enticed by an erotica anthology with a cover featuring a fireman gently petting a kitten – a (possibly stuffed) kitten which gazes off into the distance with the deadened stare of a war veteran whose seen too much, who can’t lick its paws clean of the things its done. I’m not exaggerating, look at this cat.

And in case you didn’t get it, he’s stroking a pussy. That cat is a metaphor for your vagina. Excellent. Thank you, Cleis Press.

Absolutely ridiculous cover aside (and I’d like some credit for evading the whole “can’t judge a book…” business here), “Smokin’ Hot Firemen” is exactly what it should be: strapping young gents dripping sweat from their chiseled muscles, lighting fires in all panties within a 20-mile radius. With more “five-alarm HOT” puns than that Simpsons chilli-cookout episode, this book is playfully, unabashedly cheesy, and I can get behind that. The dominant protagonist in Sabrina York’s “Saving Charlotte” finds a beautiful, naked woman conveniently tied to a bed on his way to save a child (what are the chances!?), war vet cat scratches up his owner in M. Marie’s “Fire Hazard” and a fireman has no choice but to treat the wounds on her breast (what luck!) , I’m still unsure as to whether the phrase “and he’d wanted to lick it” in Kalissa Wayne’s “The Fireman’s Rescue” refers to the dispatcher’s beautiful ass or celtic “tramp stamp” tattoo (the intrigue!).

All in all, editor Delilah Devlin embraces the unavoidably dorky nature of a sexy firefighter collection, and still presents quality erotic fiction worthy of a buzz in the tub.