Moving From His Crotch to His Heart: Maximilian Lagos

“Sex, sexuality and sensuality rules my life,” reveals Maximilian Lagos. “Almost everything I do is related to sex or relationships. It's gotten so bad that I can't walk though hardware stores, surplus stores or other weird places and not try and turn every item into a pervertable...the owier, the better.”

Describing himself as a “reformed journalist,” Maximilian is acutely aware and honest about the role that sex plays in his life. The pansexual, polyamorous, BDSM aficionado, married, father of two writes about this world on his website, exploring all aspects of sex. It has been a positive and wonderful part of his life, as well as a dangerous and destructive element.

“I have a diagnosed and am under treatment for sexual addiction,” Maximilian admits, “so yep, sex has been a major problem for me at times. I would take long lunches, book fake meetings, etc to free up time to visit sex workers. Anyone who doesn't believe sex addictions exist should come talk to me. I was a junkie. I would jones for a fix, lie, spend money I didn't have, engage in unsafe behaviour, the whole none yards. Addictions are addictions and they all suck.”

Anyone dealing with this sort of situation, working through it, would be keen to re-establish or re-invent himself. “I am evolving from a manslut into someone or something less slutty. I know that sounds vague but I have no idea at all where this journey will take me. I am looking to form deeper and more spiritual sexual connections with the three partners I already have instead of hunting for more lovers and fuck buddies. I dunno if it's because I am getting older or whatever, but I have really taken an interest in Total Power Exchange, energy transfer and play, Tantra, etc. All of the oogie boogie aspects of life, sex and BDSM.”

Inspired by the writings of Alison Tyler, Violet Blue and Rachel Kramer Bussel, the honesty of Buck Angel and an incredible dinner he shared with Carol Queen, Maximilian also self-effacingly admits he’s been told he inspires some too. Surely he does! His erotica, reviews and musings on his website are a must read.

Could this lead to a possible career—any career—in a sex-related field? Maximilian’s interests know no bounds. “I would love to be a porn star, sex worker, teacher, surrogate, therapist, whatever. Sex is so taboo in most of the world but is fundamental to human existence. People everywhere need access to information, instruction, tools and yes, even sex itself. If I could help people at that level, I would be very happy and feel incredibly fulfilled. Sadly, being a fat ugly white pansexual male excludes me from most peoples’ idea of being suitable for any of these roles. Maybe I am being too cynical and hard on myself. We will see how many job offers come in after this interview.”